Massage

If the behaviour of your family and friends makes you want to put your hands around their necks, then perhaps you should consider a course in massage. Not only is it a legal alternative to throttling them, but you should also see a great improvement in their behaviour.

There are a number of different types of massage that you can learn, but you should tailor the course you take to the kind of people that you want to rub. For example, if it is your co-workers or boss that are getting to you, then giving them a full-on Swedish massage over the photocopier may not be appropriate. In such situations, Indian head massage is probably your best bet. The massage type concentrates on the head, neck and shoulders, which means that the massagee can remain fully clothed. The technique uses a range of different massage pressures and rhythms to stimulate the soft tissues in the shoulders and scalp.

About one third of the tension in the body is carried in the head and shoulders. Indian head massage relieves stress in these areas, stimulating the endorphins from the brain that elevate the mood and relieve stress. An Indian head massage also frees knots of muscular tension and relaxes connective tissue, helps lymph gland production and drainage, increases blood circulation to the head, shoulders and scalp and improves hair condition.

If you know the people that you want to massage a little better, then you could consider taking a course in reflexology, which holds that each part of the foot has a 'mirror' point in the rest of the body. You might feel a little awkward asking your boss to divest himself of his Hush Puppies, but surely your nearest and dearest won't pose a problem.

According to reflexologists, there are ten energy zones that run the length of the body, from the head to the feet. There are five of these zones on each side of the body and they are considered a channel for life energy, or chi. Each foot can also be mapped out into these five zones. So if the person that you are massaging just wants a general all-over good feeling, then you massage the whole foot. However, if they have a specific body region that is causing them problems, then the masseuse should concentrate on a certain foot zone. For example, working on the big toes is meant to help ease problems in the head area.

If you know the person that you want to massage in the biblical sense, then you might want to look at aromatherapy massage. This is the use of general massage combined with essential oils to reduce stress, rejuvenate the body and provide an-all round pleasant experience. Your course should teach you which oils to use to deal with different problems - for example, orange is a good essential oil quell anger, while lavender oil has soothing qualities that help to clear the head and promote mental focus. So if you've maxed out the credit cards and run over the dog, then dispel any pique your partner might feel with by using these oils.

Taking a short massage course can have many benefits. Friends will always ask you to high-profile occasions such as launches and weddings so that you can ease their tension. Stressed-out associates will offer to trade gifts/monetary donations if you just do that thing with their neck one more time. You could even find that you have a vocation to rub and make it your career...