Tae Kwon Do

The way of the hand and foot, in fact - also known as Tae Kwon Do, the Korean martial art that consists of 70 percent patriotic kicking action. Tae Kwon Do's origins are complicated and confusing. Basically, the Koreans always practised martial arts. They can be seen kicking the bejaysis out of each other in murals dating from 2000 years ago. However, the country's subsequent history is fraught with a series of wars and alliances with the Mongols, the Manchurians, the Chinese and the Japanese. All this activity resulted in Korean fighters absorbing techniques from a plethora of the foreign martial arts that they were exposed to. "Ouch! There goes my leg. But wasn't that a damn fine flying kick - I wonder if I can incorporate that into my repertoire?"

In the 14th century, King Taejo began the rule of the Yi dynasty in Korea. The king replaced the national religion of Buddhism with Confucianism, which advised the higher classes to concentrate on poetry and music rather than smacking each other soggy. However, the workers still kept up martial arts practice, even though state-sponsored training went into a decline.

The Yi dynasty lasted until 1910, when the Japanese occupied Korea and removed the king. The Japanese took over until the end of World War II and during their time in power they forced the Japanese language into Korean schools and banned the people from practising any martial arts or other cultural activities on pain of death. When they were ousted in 1945, a great number of Korean soldiers who had been stationed in Japan returned home and brought with them the karate skills that they had learned.

Naturally, the Koreans felt quite a degree of animosity towards the people that had taken over their country and so didn't want to take the Japanese art of karate on face value. They adapted it, adding some of the techniques from old Korean martial arts such as Soo Bahk and Tae Kyon. Many of the new schools of martial arts that emerged were united in 1951 under General Hong Hi Choi and given the name Tae Kwon Do. General Choi went on to found the International Tae Kwon Do Federation (ITF) and the World Tae Kwon Do Federation (WTF). In 1980, the International Olympic Committee granted the WTF recognition and the last Olympics in Sydney saw Tae Kwon Do entered as an official sport.

Although some sports-minded Tae Kwan Do instructors take its exact meaning - the way of the fist and foot - literally, most try to instruct their pupils in the morals behind the kicking. Generally, this consists of five precepts to live by - courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control and indomitable spirit.

The etiquette in the dojang (scout hall) is the usual martial arts mix of lowered eyes, subservience and paying the people who are hurting you. Just imagine yourself as a customer at your local House of Domination. You even get a uniform. Not the French maid outfit of your dreams, sadly, but a functional loose-fitting jacket and trouser combo.

As for the kicking and punching, there are three main parts to the training. The first thing you will learn is poomses or forms - the kicks, punches and blocking techniques that are performed in a strict order against an imaginary adversary. These forms help refine coordination, timing and rhythm. You will also learn kyorugi, or sparring, where you get to practise the moves you have learned against an actual opponent.

If you decide to go further with Tae Kwon Do, then you will eventually learn kyukpa (breaking), which is a demonstration of power, accuracy and mental concentration. You also get to look a bit Stephen Seagal as you chop the legs off your wife's chair at family gatherings. Don't listen to those screams of protest - she loves it really and is actually very glad that her mother is alive to see the kind of man she married.